In coaching, transformation begins from within. Evoking Awareness, ICF Core Competency 7—isn’t about giving answers but about holding space for a client’s inner wisdom to rise. Through presence, curiosity, and thoughtful inquiry, we invite clients to explore the layers beneath their choices, beliefs, and emotions, leading to clarity, alignment, and authentic action, from the inside out.
Read moreCOLLABORATION: Ethical Partnership in Action →
COLLABORATION: Ethical Partnership in Action
The 2025 update to the ICF Core Value of Collaboration invites us into deeper relationships, not just with clients, but with each other, across cultures, roles, and experiences.
This value now emphasizes partnership as a dynamic process. It calls us into shared power, mutual respect, and ethical connection—not only in coaching sessions, but in how we approach systems, organizations, and our coaching communities.
Here's how the 2025 update shapes and strengthens this value:
• Partnering and cooperating with others to achieve shared goals: True collaboration honors each voice. Are we inviting the client to shape the session moment to moment? Are we, as coaches, co-creating or subtly directing?
• Engaging in ethical relationships, including clear agreements: Collaboration isn’t just about being nice—it’s about being clear. Setting and revisiting agreements ensures alignment, especially when circumstances shift.
• Cultivating mutual respect and equality: Superiority and savior-hood have no place in coaching. Our clients are experts in their lives—we’re simply facilitators of what already lives inside them.
• Communicating and interacting with honesty and openness: What happens when we pause to ask: “What’s not being said right now?” Openness invites the unsaid to be seen, and transformation to unfold
✨ Reflection:
What practices help you stay attuned to shared opportunity in your coaching? Where might you need to clarify collaboration, especially across cultural or organizational contexts?
Final Thoughts:
The ICF Values are no longer silent values that live in the background. They are alive, embodied calls to how we show up and how we relate. They ask questions like: Can you hold both your role and your humanness? Can you stand for clarity and shared influence, without losing connection?
I would love to hear your thoughts and how you honor Collaboration in coaching and in life.
With Love,
Marilyn ox
✨If you would like to explore further:
✔️ ICF Ethics Updated Course: HERE
✔️ ICF Update Code of Ethics: HERE
✔️ ICF Core Competency Bootcamp, July 22, 2025: HERE
✔️ Next Live Morning Coaching, The Coach’s Mirror: August 14, 2025: HERE
🗓️ Schedule a time to Chat → HERE
PROFESSIONALISM: The Quiet Integrity That Speaks Loudest →
PROFESSIONALISM: The Quiet Integrity That Speaks Loudest
As part of the 2025 ICF Code of Ethics update, the Core Value of Professionalism has been deepened and refined, not just as a standard of conduct, but as a calling to consistency, clarity, and congruence.
In the updated framework, Professionalism is defined not only by our conduct with clients and colleagues but also by how we hold ourselves when no one is watching. It asks us to reflect: What do I bring into the space, knowingly or unknowingly, and how does it align with the promise of ethical partnership?
Here's how the 2025 update shapes and strengthens this value:
• Acting with consistency and reliability: Are our behaviors predictable in ways that build trust? When clients know what to expect from our presence, safety is established, especially for those who may carry trauma or uncertainty.
• Being congruent in words, actions, and behaviors: A coach once said, "I can't expect my client to show up with courage if I'm hiding behind performance." Congruence asks us to model alignment within and without.
• Being clear and accurate with information: From marketing to contracting to reflecting, clarity is ethical. No more vague coaching buzzwords. We owe it to our clients to make our work, and its impact transparent.
• Being accountable for one's behaviors and actions: Accountability isn't punishment—it's a path back to trust. Taking responsibility without defensiveness is one of the strongest expressions of Professionalism.
• Maintaining and respecting boundaries: Boundaries protect relationships. Whether around time, emotional energy, or roles, when we model healthy boundaries, we empower our clients to do the same.
✨ Reflection:
Where might you revisit your coaching agreements or presence to ensure greater consistency and congruence? How does Professionalism live in your daily practice?
Let's continue to coach with presence, humanity, and courage, together.
With Love,
Marilyn ox
✨If you would like to explore further:
✔️ ICF Ethics Updated Course: HERE
✔️ ICF Update Code of Ethics: HERE
✔️ ICF Core Competency Bootcamp, July 22, 2025: HERE
✔️ Next Live Morning Coaching, The Coach’s Mirror: August 14, 2025: HERE
🗓️ Schedule a time to Chat → HERE
Equity: From Intention to Embodied Action in Coaching
Exploring the Updated 2025 ICF Core Value, Equity
As I continue to reflect and explore the newly released (April 2025) ICF Code of Ethics, the value of Equity stands out as both a call to action and a deepening of ethical presence in our work. More than just a principle, it's an invitation to examine the world, the assumptions we carry, and the ways we partner with our clients.
The 2025 Definition of Equity (ICF) - A commitment to use one's power, privilege, and resources to create opportunity and to dismantle barriers, within self, coaching, systems, and society. Equity honors individuals' rights to be seen, heard, and valued for their humanity, identity, and lived experiences.
This update is not subtle; it's transformative. It shifts Equity from a passive ideal to an active ethical commitment. It's no longer enough to say we "believe in" Equity. It is now a call to embody it, live it, and challenge ourselves and our perspectives toward it.
What Does This Look Like in Practice?
🔹 Using Power with Awareness
Are we aware of how our language, frameworks, or silence may uphold systems of inequity? Coaching with Equity means pausing to ask: Am I creating room for this person's entire experience, or am I filtering it through my lens of comfort or normalcy?
🔹 Honoring Identity and Lived Experience
Do we partner in a way that respects, not dismisses, a client's expression of personal identity? Equity in coaching isn't neutrality; instead, it's a commitment to seeing our clients fully, including the layers that may be invisible in dominant spaces.
🔹 Creating Opportunity & Dismantling Barriers
How do we use our platforms, practices, and pricing to open doors rather than reinforce privilege? Equity is lived not only in sessions but also in how we design our offerings, how accessible we are, and how we use feedback to grow.
Equity Is Not Comfort. It's Courage.
Equity challenges the notion that ethical coaching is neutral coaching. It asks us to stand for, not just stand by. To listen with openness when we've misunderstood.
As coaches, we are being called to stretch into ethical maturity, not to be perfect, but to be brave, reflective, and responsible.
Equity can be seen as 'sameness,' but I believe that view misses the mark; equity isn't about treating everyone the same, it's more about honoring what makes each person unique. It's a value I strive to live by, and it emerges through how I hold space, listen, and co-create safe, brave, human-centered spaces where individuals are invited to bring all that they are.✨
My Final Thoughts
Whether it's offering flexible access, embracing neurodiversity, or softening my certainty to hear what's unspoken, equity calls me to lead with humility, curiosity, and care. It reminds me that transformation doesn't happen in sameness, but in spaces where all voices, identities, and experiences are held with dignity and presence. This is the heart of my work and life, and the foundation I continue to embrace and expand.
Where in your coaching practice and life does Equity already live? What are some areas that are calling for growth?
Let's continue to coach with presence, humanity, and courage, together.
With Love,
Marilyn ox
✨If you would like to explore further:
✔️ ICF Ethics Updated Course: HERE
✔️ ICF Update Code of Ethics: HERE
✔️ ICF Core Competency Bootcamp, July 22, 2025: HERE
✔️ Next Live Morning Coaching, The Coach’s Mirror: August 14, 2025: HERE
🗓️ Schedule a time to Chat → HERE
Coaching with Humanity: It's Presence in the New Code of Ethics
The International Coach Federation (ICF) released the newly updated Code of Ethics (April 2025). Reading through them, I was struck by the depth and direction of the changes that continue to invite deeper exploration regarding the meaning of code itself and within me.
Among the many updates, the one that stands out most today is one of the four ICF Values, Humanity. The words reflect a core driver of how we show up as coaches and in our lives.
Humanity is now framed not just as kindness, but as a call to imperfection, reflection, humility, and authentic connection, and now includes:
• Embracing imperfection as a bridge to openness and self-acceptance. In coaching, we often celebrate our clients' journeys, but how often do we allow ourselves to be seen amid our personal journey? Sharing an "I don't know" moment in a coaching session (without triggering distraction or self-doubt) can model partnership, safety, and trust.
• Knowing there is always more to learn and staying open to other perspectives. A mentor once shared that she was reminded to step back while becoming curious whenever she felt her expertise or "knowing" rising. True learning begins where assumption ends. Humility can shift a tense dynamic into a space for mutual growth.
• Creating relationships rooted in honesty, transparency, and clarity. Whether with clients or colleagues, naming the energy sensed, or a misalignment in expectations, can create repair and depth, rather than disconnection. Clear agreements are ethical and relational.
• Continuously developing self-awareness. Coaches are called to be mirrors, but the clearest mirror is one we've looked into ourselves. Ongoing reflection, learning, and feedback aren't luxuries but necessities for ethical maturity.
• Willingness to acknowledge and own mistakes. One of the most powerful moments I observed in mentoring was a coach pausing mid-session, reflecting, "I think I just made this about me. Let's come back to you." That pause? Humanity in action.
• Accepting responsibility and learning from our actions. Taking responsibility opens the door and invites us to recognize harm, not as shame, but as an opening to respond with greater alignment and care moving forward.
• Being modest about achievements. In coaching and in a world where credentials and accomplishments matter, humility and this bullet remind us that our presence, not our performance, is what creates change, letting our presence and impact speak louder than our accolades.
• Avoiding any behavior that suggests superiority. Superiority closes doors; empathy opens them. Humanity in coaching is about meeting clients as equal partners in the process, regardless of titles, identities, or life paths.
• Committing to inclusivity, dignity, self-worth, and human rights. This bold invitation and daily commitment challenge us to step beyond neutrality while advocating for spaces where all voices are valued and respected. Whether it's making our practice more accessible or questioning our blind spots, it's a daily commitment.
✨ My Final Thoughts
Humanity is no longer an optional sentiment in coaching. It's a core ethical commitment asking,
"How can we meet ourselves and others with grace and growth?"
With presence and possibility,
Marilyn ox
✨If you would like to explore further:
✔️ ICF Ethics Updated Course: HERE
✔️ ICF Update Code of Ethics: HERE
✔️ ICF Core Competency Bootcamp, July 22, 2025: HERE
✔️ Next Live Morning Coaching, The Coach’s Mirror: August 14, 2025: HERE
🗓️ Schedule a time to Chat → HERE
Invisible Bridges: Building Trust Without Fixing
Some of the most life-changing moments in building trust in coaching aren’t filled with the perfect question or a dramatic breakthrough. They’re the quiet ones, the ones that whisper, not shout; where deep listening and presence create invisible bridges between coach and client. They happen when we stop reaching, stop steering, and simply be. These are the moments where invisible bridges are built; bridges of trust, presence, and possibility. Let's explore four core coaching reflections, designed to deepen your awareness and elevate your presence as a coach and human being. Because at the heart of it all, who we are is how we coach.
1. Building Trust by Being With, Not Doing To
"To be with someone in silence is to offer them the space to hear themselves more clearly." – Unknown
The power of coaching and presence lies in being with our clients, not doing to them. This means releasing the pressure to perform, solve, or lead. When present, we invite our clients to do the same, cultivating trust and safety in coaching relationships.
ICF Core Competency 2 and 5: Embodies a Coaching Mindset and Maintains Presence invite us to stay grounded, spacious, and emotionally regulated in the client's service, not driven by our discomfort or need to perform. In life and in coaching, when we allow ourselves to simply be, we create more room for authenticity, connection, and clarity.
Refection:
Where might you still feel the urge to "add value" by doing rather than being?
What would it look like to trust the presence you bring, even in silence?
2. How Trust Deepens When We Release the need to help
"Help is the sunny side of control." – Anne Lamott
Fixing erodes trust. It signals to our clients that we may not believe in their capacity to access their own wisdom. Building trust in coaching requires us to release the urge to help or save and instead foster client empowerment and self-leadership.
ICF Core Competency 4, Cultivates Trust and Safety encourages us to co-create an environment where the client feels safe, accepted, and fully capable. As unique individuals and coaches, our well-meaning desire to help can often override the client's pace, power, and process. When we believe and see others, they have the space to expand and begin to believe and trust themselves.
Reflection:
How does your need to help intersect with your identity as a coach or as a caretaker?
What changes when you offer support without needing to "save" or solve?
3. Deep Listening in Coaching: Building Authentic Connection and Presence
"Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals." – J. Isham
As we practice this as coaches, we also become better listeners in our relationships, families, and communities. This is at the heart of embodying the coaching mindset as defined in the ICF Core Competencies.
Deep listening isn't just a skill, it's a way of being. It goes beyond hearing words and moves into sensing energy, emotion, and meaning. It connects us through presence, not performance.
ICF Core Competency 4 and 5 Listens Actively, Maintains Presence calls us to listen beyond the surface, to tone, body language, energy shifts, and deeper meaning. As we practice this as coaches, we also become better listeners in our relationships, families, and communities.
This is at the heart of embodying the coaching mindset as defined in the ICF Core Competencies. It reminds us that listening is the greatest gift we can offer others and ourselves.
Reflection:
When was the last time you truly felt heard, not just 'listened to?
How do you return to listening when distractions (internal or external) arise?
4. Coaching with Neutrality and Detachment: How Letting Go Creates Client Transformation
"Hold your client's potential with open hands, not clenched expectations."
When we let go of what we think should happen, we make room for what can happen. Neutrality is not passivity, it's powerful clarity. Detachment is not indifference; it's compassionate freedom. It allows us to notice and support without holding to an outcome, pace, or pathway.
ICF Core Competency 2 and 5, Embodies a Coaching Mindset and Maintains Presence, ask us to trust the coaching process, not our agenda. Detached involvement invites humility, acceptance, and receptivity. It reminds us that growth looks different for everyone and that our role is to partner, not prescribe. The more grounded we are, the more space we allow for wisdom to whisper and others to rise. This is a key practice for deepening trust and presence in coaching.
Reflection:
In what ways do your hopes for the client's progress impact your neutrality?
How does your presence shift when you practice non-attachment?
Final Thought:
Coaching is not about being the bridge; it's about holding the space where trust, presence, and deep listening can build invisible bridges between coach and client. Let your presence, trust, and listening create the conditions for your clients to discover, lead, and walk themselves.
What do you imagine changing if you detached from outcomes and embraced the unfolding instead?
With presence and possibility,
Marilyn ox
Making Peace with Uncertainty: Three Keys to Navigating Life’s Discomfort →
As humans, we often fill in the blanks, though our ability to truly listen is one of the most powerful skills we can cultivate, both in coaching and life. Not only listening to spoken words, but tuning in to the deeper messages, the underlying emotions, and the untold truths that guide us toward change and growth.
When we listen, fully present, whether to the voice inside ourselves, the person we're speaking with, or the energy in a room, we open ourselves to possibilities that might otherwise be blinded. Listening in this way invites us to ask questions that don't just get to the surface but invite inquiry that creates profound shifts.
Coaches speak often of the power of asking questions. But what makes a question genuinely transformative? It's not about seeking a quick response or resolve. It's about giving the question the time and space to settle within ourselves and those we communicate with.
Below, you'll find three types of questions that lead to lasting change:
1. Questions that Challenge Limiting Beliefs:
These questions gently disrupt the assumptions holding us back. They invite us to question the stories we've been telling ourselves, stories that may have once served us but now limit our true selves and potential. Questions like:
How does holding on to this assumption serve me, and how might it hold me back? or
Who might I become if I chose not to believe this story anymore?
When we ask these questions like these, we invite ourselves and our clients to look beyond the familiar, to see new perspectives, and to recognize the vast possibilities that exist when we free ourselves from limiting beliefs.
2. Questions that Evoke Vision:
These questions shift our focus from problems to possibilities. They help us envision the future in a way that ignites excitement and purpose. Questions like:
If success had no boundaries, how would I define it for myself?
Which aspects of my future am I most passionate about shaping right now?
By asking these questions, we permit ourselves to expand our dreams, to imagine what could be rather than what's been. In this visioning space, change becomes a desire and a driving force that compels us to move forward with more energy, confidence, and purpose.
3. Questions that Uncover Our Truth:
The answers we need are often within us. However, we require the right questions to uncover them. Questions that help explore deeper into our values, motivations, and true desires like:
Where and when do I feel most alive, and how can I bring that energy into other areas of my life?
What fears or self-doubts could be masking my deepest desires?
By listening to the voice within and finding our truth, we gain clarity and insight that guide our decisions and actions moving forward. It's a reminder that change is not about becoming someone else; it's about becoming who we truly are.
When we ask these questions, we're not just seeking answers. We're inviting a process of deep reflection and transformation. The questions catalyze lasting and sustainable change, guiding us toward alignment with our true selves more effortlessly.
Which questions are you asking yourself today that are guiding you toward the person you aspire to become?
So the next time you're coaching, leading, or reflecting on your life, trust that the questions you ask will guide you far more effectively than focusing solely on the answers or outcome.
With Grace,
Marilyn
Does change and the uncertainties in life weight you down? If you’re struggling and would like to learn more about coaching, feel free to schedule a time to meet below.
Introducing the ICF ACC Credential Exam
The new ACC Exam is designed specifically to access the knowledge of ACC Candidates at this stage in their coaching journey.
As the initial credential in the ICF credential framework, the ACC demonstrates a coach’s fundamental knowledge and skills in the ICF Core Competencies, Code of Ethics, and definition of coaching. The ACC is a smart first step for any coach practitioner to demonstrate their credibility and competence, showing clients they are ready to support them.
Overview of the ACC Credential
The ACC validates a coach’s foundational knowledge of the ICF Core Competencies, Code of Ethics, and definition of coaching, demonstrating the coach’s understanding of core coaching principles, and is designed for coaches who may be early in their coaching career, coaches who may practice part-time, and professionals who work in other disciplines but understand the value of integrating a coaching approach into their work.
To apply for the ACC, candidates’ must demonstrate requirements for coach-specific education, client coaching experience, complete mentor coaching with a qualified mentor coach, and demonstrate proficient application of the ICF Core Competencies through a performance evaluation. As a final step of the ACC certification process, all ACC candidates must achieve a passing score on the written exam.
Structure of the ICF ACC Exam
The ACC Exam consists of 60 multiple-choice knowledge items. Each item includes a brief prompt or question and four response options. There is only one correct response for each item.
The ACC Exam consists of two sections with an optional 10-minute break midway through the exam. The total exam time is organized in the following format:
I. Exam Instructions: 2 minutes
II. Section 1 (30 items): 39 minutes
III. Scheduled Break: 10 minutes
IV. Section 2 (30 items): 39 minutes
Exam Format
Exam Time: 90 minutes, including a 10-minute break.
Exam Length: 60 multiple-choice questions.
Computer-based written exam administered through proctored delivery at Pearson VUE testing centers worldwide, or online through Pearson’s OnVue remote-proctored testing service.
* Explore exam accommodations
* Learn more about exam procedures
Content Domains
Exam Content: The ACC Exam covers three broad domains of coaching knowledge. Exam questions cover these domains outlined below.
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Knowledge of professional ethics codes.
Knowledge of what constitutes a conflict of interest.
Knowledge of relevant laws, regulations, and organizational policies and procedures around confidentiality (e.g., what factors would necessitate breaking confidentiality).
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Knowledge of the definition of coaching
Knowledge of the coaching process and how it differs from other related professions (therapy, counseling, mentoring and consulting).
Knowledge of when, and how to make appropriate referrals for mental health professionals.
Knowledge of signs of mental health conditions that may block progress in coaching.
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Knowledge of how to contract with clients (e.g., key elements of a coaching agreement).
Knowledge of ICF Core Competencies.
Knowledge of goal setting and motivation.
Knowledge of a variety of coaching techniques, tools, and resources.
Preparing for the ACC Credential Exam
Get ready to take your exam with confidence! Don’t discount your hours of experience as a valuable tool in taking the ACC Exam. If you’re looking for some additional study tips, take a look at the following:
Revisit materials from your coaching education program.
Familiarize yourself with the ICF Core Competencies.
Review the ICF ACC Minimum Skills Requirements.
Study the ICF Code of Ethics Standards, including key definitions, and interpretive statements.
Reflect on typical coaching situations and effective responses.
Review guidelines for referring coaching clients to therapy or other supporting professionals.
Exam Registration Process
As a first step, you must first submit an ACC credential application and required supplemental documentation. To review the application requirements, fees, and instructions for applying, visit the ICF ACC Credentials.
Once your application is reviewed and approved, you will receive an email invitation to schedule and take the written exam. This is the final step in the credentialing process.
This invitation will include detailed instructions on how to schedule an appointment with Pearson VUE to complete the exam (either in person or remotely). Upon receipt of this email, you will have 60 days to schedule and complete the exam.
After Exam – Next Steps
Upon completion of the exam, you will receive immediate notice from Pearson Vue with preliminary exam results. Please allow 48 hours for ICF to update individual records with official exam results.
After your exam results have been entered into the ICF record, an email will be sent to either award the credential or provide directions on how to retake the exam.
A candidate’s score is based on successfully identifying each correct response. Candidates are not penalized for incorrect responses. The passing score and all exam results on the ACC Exam are reported as scaled scores. The range of possible scores is 200 to 600, with a passing score of 460.
If you do not pass the exam, you may retake the exam. The retake fee is $105 USD.
Click Photo T0 Download Candidate Guide
Contains helpful information for those applying for the ICF Associate Certified Coach (ACC) Credential. Applicants should use this resource as a source of guidance and direction in navigating the ICF Credentialing process.
Additional ACC Credential Exam Prep Resources:
Have additional Questions?
Comment below, contact, or schedule a time to meet.
Coaching Enhancement Through Supervision →
Supervision is a collaborative learning practice that continually builds the capacity of the coach through reflective dialogue, benefiting both coaches and clients.
Read moreBeneath the Smiles →
BENEATH THE SMILES
As summer 2024 winds down, I reflect on my favorite moments—especially having all my boys together. It had been years and was just for a day, but that made it even more special.
Photos don’t show the layers behind them—the joy and pain, gratitude and hardship, and all the moments in between.
We often overlook fleeting moments until we practice presence and gratitude, recognizing that the struggles are part of the journey, too.
Have you ever scrolled through social media and felt inadequate, jealous, or longing? What deeper insights might those emotions reveal about your own life or experiences?
Here are a few truths that have shifted how I view life and the snapshots shared
There's always more. Behind every photo lies depth and layers that go untold.
Happiness and struggle coexist. No one is immune to life's challenges.
Everyone's journey is unique. Within each untold story are emotions and thoughts we can't see or fully understand.
Reflect the learning back to yourself. When something triggers you, see it as an opportunity to explore what's happening within.
What is the mirror showing you about your thoughts, emotions, or unmet desires?
Express love and gratitude. Be grateful for the moments, glimmers, and stories others share—however brief or curated. They reflect the beauty in fleeting moments.
Release assumptions and embrace curiosity. When we shift from assumptions and narratives that belong in fiction novels, we free ourselves from the weight of comparison.
Celebrate your presence. It's not about where you are or where you aren't; it's about acknowledging the present—your journey, growth, and story.
When we shift our focus away from assumptions and fictional narratives, we not only lift a burden but also make space for what's real and true in our lives.
Here's to pausing and soaking in the moments, no matter how brief—embracing both the beauty and the challenges, and remembering that every experience, whether captured in a photo or lived in between, is part of the journey.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat HERE.
Much love,
Marilyn ox
💝 Download my P.A.U.S.E. infographic as a gentle reminder to pause between your thoughts, triggers, and blessings, allowing you to reflect with intention and discover what’s most true.
S.I.L.E.N.C.E: A Transformational Life, Coaching, and Leadership Skill →
Silence is often the most challenging, overlooked, yet vital skill in life, coaching, and leadership.
What better time in our world to revisit the benefits of embracing silence. Silence is often the most challenging, overlooked, yet vital skill in life, coaching, and leadership.
My beliefs around "silence" previously mainly connected to others misinterpreting it as disinterest or its potential for misinterpretation. Today, I fully believe that in silence, awareness and wisdom rise.
By intentionally creating space for quiet, we not only tune into what is yearning to be realized but also foster reflection, connection, and expanded perspectives. Developing more comfort with silence leads to deeper insights, stronger relationships, and innovative solutions that might remain hidden in the noise.
The S.I.L.E.N.C.E acronym below highlights the benefits and mastery developed in this place and how it can enhance trust, confidence, connection, curiosity, and more.
🔸 Stillness creates space to reflect and gain deeper insights while cultivating openness, clarity, and presence.
🔸 Intentionality nurtures autonomy and purpose, creating space for openness and deeper listening. It demonstrates genuine interest in one's own and others' experiences.
🔸 Listening fully enables hearing and understanding beyond words, attuning with body language, emotions, and underlying messages.
🔸 Empathy builds trust through openness. Holding space shows you value the other person's experience regardless of your perspectives or feelings.
🔸 Nurturing encourages self-discovery, acceptance, and autonomy. Allows others to explore their thoughts and feelings without interruption.
🔸 Curiosity promotes deeper exploration, insights, and learning. Ask open questions and give others time to respond thoughtfully.
🔸 Engagement enhances energy, collaboration, and synergetic flow and exchange while encouraging and inspiring the voices of all.
Embracing S.I.L.E.N.C.E into your Life, Coaching, and leadership practices fosters
trust, confidence, and connection. Humans naturally fill in the blanks and often rush too quickly toward outcomes. However, wisdom and insights are brewing in those moments of silence.
As Peter Drucker said, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." Only in silence is one heard.
Resist the urge to speak, hold back, and embrace the silence and space where wisdom speaks. Embrace the transformative power of silence and watch your relationships and outcomes thrive.
Reflection
How comfortable are you with silence?
What thoughts about silence evoke discomfort?
How comfortable are you with silence in your life, coaching, and leadership practices?
What has helped you in allowing space for silence?
In what ways has silence impacted your relationships and interactions with others?
How can you create more opportunities for silence in your daily routine?
What insights have emerged for you during moments of silence?
How might embracing silence enhance your team dynamics?
What challenges do you face when trying to implement silence in conversations?
How does silence impact your ability to listen and understand others deeply?
A gift for you…
Download your S.I.L.E.N.C.E Infographic/Bookmark for reminder and gift to share.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat HERE.
Download Your SILENCE Infographic HERE
I am the Sun and Rain →
Some days I am the sun.
Other days I am the rain.
Without either,
the garden, will not grow.
~CM Writer
This quote beautifully captures the ebbs and flows of life's experiences and seasons. Embracing and accepting this truth about life allows us to cultivate a deepened sense of understanding, compassion, and strength for ourselves and those around us.
Years ago, I was struck by this realization when reading this Tony Robbins quote, "The only 'problem' we really have is we think we're not supposed to have problems."
The truth is that problems and challenges in life are inevitable. Our perspective can magnify or diminish their weight and impact.
I once hurriedly sought paths of immediate comfort as I perceived anything that felt uncomfortable, painful, or sad as "bad," avoiding reflection and opportunities for growth. The problem with this way of being was that it was a short-term solution to navigating what was really going on.
I came to embrace the understanding and truth that:
Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessarily make it bad.
Just because it feels good, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.
Feeling "bad" doesn't automatically categorize it as inherently negative; it might signify growth, inspire necessary change, or a temporary discomfort preceding a breakthrough. Similarly, just because something feels good doesn't guarantee its long-term benefit or alignment with our values and goals.
This realization empowered me to navigate life’s complexities with greater discernment, recognizing that emotions are not always reliable indicators of truth or value. It's about cultivating a deeper awareness beyond the surface of our immediate reactions, allowing for a more balanced and insightful approach to decision-making and problem-solving.
What would differnt if we perceived challenges as a calling to figure out who we are and what we want and need?
How would this change the way you navigate your challenges or view the challenges of others?
If you'd like to share your responses, thoughts, and perspectives to these questions, or are experiencing challenges that are draining your energy and connection to yourself, reach out anytime.
I’ve also created this Challenge Journal to support and guide you through the process of deepening and expanding your perspectives and insight when faced with challenges.
Together we can embrace the opportunity to approach challenges with curiosity, creativity, and an open mind.
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat HERE.
Much love,
C.A.L.M in the Presence of Storms →
In this new year, more than ever, I am mindful of the many changes, growth, and new awareness of the year gone by.
2023 presented new and unexpected challenges along with profound opportunities for continued growth and deepened learning.
I want to share my journey with you, not just as a narrative but as an embodiment of the transformational principles encouraged and practiced, trusting it will resonate with many as we navigate the future ahead.
This past year tested my walk and practices that I believed I had a handle on, particularly as I navigated the complexities of chronic illnesses within my family. While heartbreaking and challenging, this experience became a powerful space for deepening and expanding my calming practice of emotional regulation, which inspired this simple, in-the-moment practice called C.A.L.M (Catch, Acknowledge, Listen, Move) that I wanted to pass on to you.
C - Catch: Recognize the emotional shift and the level of intensity. Pause and acknowledge what you are feeling at this very moment. It's about becoming aware of the change, almost like catching a leaf falling from a tree.
A - Acknowledge: Accept the emotion without judgment. Understand that it's okay to feel this way. Acknowledging is not about agreement but about recognition of what is present.
L - Listen: Listen to what your emotions are telling you. They are indicators and share valuable information about our thoughts and what we care most about. What is the underlying need or message? This step involves tuning in to your inner voice, heart, and intuition.
M - Move: Once you are present, choose with intention, an action or response. Moving can be literal physical movements, like deep breathing, a short walk, a glance at the ocean, or a realization or inner shift in perspective or focus.
In moments of chaos and overwhelm,
pausing and observing was crucial – it provided a much-needed space to 'Acknowledge' my feelings without succumbing to judgment or taking on what wasn't mine. This simple yet profound realization of moving through darker days while infusing micro-moments of C.A.L.M was the first step in gracefully navigating the emotional whirlwinds to come while deepening my appreciation moments of peace, and appreciation for all that remains beautiful within and around me.
The act of 'Listening' to these emotions deepened my self-awareness and empathy, both for myself and for those around me. It allowed me to connect more authentically with my own needs and those of my Mom and son, fostering a space for compassionate, empathic, and intentional decision-making.
Finally, Moving forward – whether through physical activities like walking and deep breathing or mental shifts in perspective – became a testament to the power of proactive and purposeful action. It reminds us that we have the means to choose our path forward, even amid pain, sadness, and uncertainty.
As we journey ahead in life, let’s commit to embrace our meaningful experiences to strengthen with grace, our resilience with hope and excitement about what the future has in store for all of us.
I am excited and committed to collaborating, partnering, and supporting your continued growth and fulfillment ahead!
With love and gratitude,
Marilyn ox
A gift for you…
I created C.A.L.M as a simple practice and reminder designed to guide you through the process of managing your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
The CALM approach is a simple yet effective method to recognize, accept, listen to, and move through your emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
When life is hard, may you experience C.A.L.M. 💞
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat HERE.
Marilyn ox
Three Layers of Gratitude
As we celebrate today and the spirit of giving, it's a fitting time to reflect on what we are grateful for and the deeper layers of our gratitude.
Often, we express thanks for our family, friends, health, and accomplishments, yet rarely do we pause to consider the profound emotions and experiences underlying these sentiments.
Let's uncover the layers within our gratitude, exploring what moves and drives our thankfulness and how this deeper understanding can enrich our lives.
The Surface of Gratitude - Gratitude often starts at the surface. We feel thankful for tangible blessings: a loving family, a successful career, or perhaps a personal achievement. For instance, you might feel grateful for the support you received during a difficult challenge you recently faced. This initial gratitude is genuine yet on the surface. Even during the most challenging times, recognizing the ability to breathe as you step outside in the sunshine may inspire gratitude for God and nature.
My Beautiful Mom and Sister, Donna
The Connection of Gratitude - Connecting and bridging to a more meaningful level of gratitude requires pause and reflection to explore more awareness. When feeling proud of an achievement, you may ask, "What aspect of achieving this makes me proud?" It may be acknowledging your effort, support from a colleague, the personal growth experienced, or the impact on others. Exploring the meaning behind our emotions is a bridge, uncovering the fundamental values and beliefs underpinning our gratitude. Such introspective bridging leads to a richer, more intentional, and nuanced appreciation of our lives.
The Heart of Gratitude - When we examine our feelings further, we often find that our gratitude is rooted in complex emotions and values. For example, pride in our achievements might stem from a deep-seated value of perseverance or a desire to contribute positively to the world. This realization can shift our perspective, enhancing our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.
Gratitude Reflection
In my daily gratitude practice (throughout the day), I pause asking questions like:
"What am I most grateful for today?"
"What about that makes me grateful?"
"How does that make me feel?"
This gratitude is bridged from a deeper level, reflecting my appreciation for human connection, empathy, awe, and wonder regarding shared human experience.
Recognizing these underlying values enriches my sense of thankfulness, turning a simple "thank you" I may share into communicating a more expressive appreciation for my gratitude, like "The way you listened and gave me the space to talk through this difficult time brought me so much peace and meant the world to me."
Deeper Awareness
Understanding the deeper meanings behind our gratitude, thoughts, emotions, and feelings does more than enrich our lives; it strengthens empathy and connection with ourselves and others.
As we embrace our lives as a beautifully woven tapestry of experiences and emotions, our relationships and interactions become more meaningful. Deepening awareness within ourselves also inspires and enriches our appreciation for even the small things and our choices, influencing how we love, support, and give to others. It's a transformative process that enhances our personal growth and amplifies our capacity to contribute positively to the lives around us, fostering a cycle of generosity and compassion.
As we wrap up the "Three Layers of Gratitude,"
I hope it has inspired you to deepen your understanding of gratitude.
To further this journey, I'm offering a complimentary 30-page "Gratitude, Reflection Journal" designed to help you explore and deepen your connection to gratitude, thoughts, and emotions, fostering a practice of more intentional self-awareness.
May this holiday season and journal support your journey towards a more prosperous, aligned journey ahead!
Warmest wishes for a meaningful, and bright Holiday Season,
Marilyn 💚
The Paradox of "Not Knowing"
Embracing Uncertainty
The shift from summer's embrace to the brisk touch of fall reminds me of life's ever-present paradoxes and endless opportunities. The leaves change color with assured certainty yet present unique, unpredictable patterns each day. Similarly, while we can anticipate the seasons, tomorrow's experiences and challenges remain uncertain. This duality of predictability and mystery brings us to the heart of our topic: finding comfort in places of "not knowing."
This intertwining of predictability and mystery leads us to a profound reflection: the empowering nature of embracing "not knowing."
In our solution-driven world, there's surprising strength in admitting, "I don't know." While it sounds counterintuitive, particularly in professions that prize expertise, consider this: our most profound moments of growth and connection lie in gaining comfort and embracing the unknown.
The philosophy of the "beginner's mind," eloquently shared by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, captures this essence. It speaks of a mindset unclouded by biases and prior judgments, where possibilities are as vast as the universe.
"In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few."
The International Coach Federation (ICF) also acknowledges the importance of this concept in Core Competency 5.5, emphasizing comfort in spaces of "not knowing," highlighting the power of embracing uncertainty in personal and professional spaces.
So, what potential unfolds when we anchor ourselves in the sanctuary of "not knowing"?
In places of NOT KNOWING, there are no limitations to what is possible. Fresh perspectives emerge, and novel solutions are discovered.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I approach situations with presence. This presence fosters genuine listening and deeper understanding.
In places of NOT KNOWING, my mind is open and receptive. I become more adaptable and willing to learn from every experience.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I release the burden of expertise. Without the weight of expectations, I can navigate situations with a lighter spirit.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I'm free from the confines of past patterns. This freedom allows for spontaneous and creative responses.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I foster a sense of wonder and curiosity. Every moment becomes an opportunity for exploration and discovery.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I am not attached to outcomes. This detachment can lead to greater equanimity and peace when facing challenges.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I welcome collaboration. Recognizing my gaps allows me to seek and value the knowledge and perspectives of others.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I am reminded of the vastness and mystery of existence, cultivating a sense of awe and reverence for life.
In places of NOT KNOWING, I embrace the journey of continuous growth. Rather than resting on past achievements, I aspire to continuously seek, learn, and evolve.
By remaining present and truly opening ourselves in the space of "not knowing," we unlock boundless opportunities and insights. Reflection:
How does "not knowing" resonate with you?
What pressures do you impose on yourself to have all the answers?
What narratives play in your mind when faced with uncertainties?
How might embracing "not knowing" transform your experience of life?
Remember, being in a place of "not knowing" doesn't reflect inadequacy. It's a call to trust in life's journey, welcoming the boundless insights and growth accompanying such trust.
In these ever-evolving times, our shared human experience sparkles the brightest. I invite you to explore the realms of "not knowing" together. I'm here to support you if you want to dive deeper into understanding and embracing this transformative space.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Connect with me today!
With Love and Possibilities, Always,
Marilyn ox
Year in Review
Here we are today, another year past, a new present moment, and a brand-new year ahead!
A year ago, I shared a blog article and holiday email called The Gift of Grace and Presence, highlighting the relevance of those two words.
Words are powerful.
Words can make us laugh or cry. They can heal, hurt, offer hope or crush us. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the words we choose can allow us to fulfill our deepest desires and also be the very thing that holds us back. The words we choose with ourselves and others matter.
When we attach meaning to words and words to our experience, they become our Reality.
My Reality (then)
Distracted is defined "as having one's thoughts or attention drawn away: unable to concentrate or give attention to something."
Growing up, "easily distracted" was commonplace on my report cards. As I grew older and the world, responsibilities, and opportunities became more abundant and complex, my inability to focus would lead to agitation and thoughts of inadequacy. Understandably, these thoughts would exacerbate my ability to focus on the task at hand, impacting my growth. Labeled as a character flaw, "I am easily distracted. "
My Reality (now)
Today I understand and embrace my uniqueness. The clarity of what matters most to me (my values) and the awareness that the same gifts, strengths, and aspects I have come to love most about myself can also be the source of challenges—so profound a discovery.
I love to collaborate, learn, experience, and create new things, and amid all the newness, I inspire easily. I feel a lot, and ideas flow freely and regularly. In the past, it all felt like too much, whereas today, I embrace it all as so much. So much possibility and opportunity!
A few years back, my word was "focus," which led me to practice and create tools and strategies to optimize my strengths and gifts in anything I was doing and building one step at a time.
Last year I chose two words, grace and presence.
Grace is like the love of God covering me like a warm blanket that acknowledged all I felt while allowing me space to feel, explore, and understand with acceptance and love instead of judgment or shame.
Presence inspired the truth of what was happening each moment, allowing me to understand, learn, and choose how best to move forward. And this year?
Well, I've narrowed my 2023 words down to 3 today: Simplicity, Nourishment, and Peace, and you know what? I am keeping all three.
Reflecting on this past year and visioning what's ahead with questions included in my newest fillable reflection journal will help you to know yourself more while empowering you with all that you are and need to live and experience life fully in 2023.
With Love, and Possibilities,
Marilyn ox
More Than a SMILE😊
Did you know that October 7th was World Smile Day?
The iconic yellow smiley face was created in 1963 by graphic artist Harvey Ball, and in 1999, World Smile Day became a national holiday.
Did you know that children smile an average of 400 times per day?
Happy people...40/50's times per day, and on average, we smile 20 times daily?
Studies have shown there is a difference between "genuine" smiles and "social" smiles, but they agree that even a "fake" smile elevates our mood and makes us feel happier. I prefer "real," yet I understand the point.
Did you also know that it takes way more muscles & effort to produce a frown than it does to smile?
Undoubtedly, there are many challenges and troubles in this world. For many, the Holidays can evoke deep sadness and pain.
We are hard-wired for safety and protection, so it makes perfect sense that our initial default would be to focus on what's wrong, whether real or perceived; thankfully, research continuously confirms neuropeptides and neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are released when we are smiling, lightening anxiety and stress levels.
Smiling more will not only change your energy and mood in navigating life's challenges but may also lighten the weight and burden of another, even for a moment.
I am naturally curious and optimistic, and with reflective practices, I can see opportunity in just about anything. I once judged and avoided anything that didn't feel good. You can only imagine how much I avoided, including the most genuine expression of myself.
How we speak to ourselves and others matters; the questions we ask, consciously and unconsciously, make a difference and can impact the results we experience.
When we ask questions that focus on what's working and going well, it changes our responses moving forward. Questions like:
What's most meaningful to me?
What makes it meaningful to me right now?
What is the best thing that's happened today? At work? Before work?
Who inspires you?
What about them inspires you?
How does that make you feel?
Who do you love?
What about them do you love?
How do they make you feel?
Problems and challenges are inevitable, and though we may not be able to control our circumstances or what someone else says, thinks, or does, we can most certainly control who we are, what we say, and how we choose to show up each moment.
What practices have you incorporated into your life, home, or office that inspire more smiling, gratitude, and happiness?
⭐️A Gift for YOU🎁
Rewire your brain with this simple practice that will inspire you to notice all that is working
and beautiful in your life and world.
Download my PDF called MY TOP THREE.
Power and Perspective
Five steps to gaining power and perspective so you can quit taking it personally.
Read moreLetter For The GIVERS
To The Givers,
That CARE and CONCERN you so freely extend to others;
The warm SILENCE and SAFETY you so naturally create for those seeking refuge;
And the way you COMMUNICATE with genuine KINDNESS and GRACE,
Along with your ability to ACCEPT without JUDGMENT, it is most beautiful and inspiring.
Do you treat yourself similarly?
If not, what stands in the way of extending that same GRACE, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, and CARE you so FREELY GIVE to OTHERS to YOURSELF?
The way you speak to yourself matters.
You LOVE, HEAL, GIVE, FEEL, CARE, and HELP without expecting anything in return.
Today and Always give yourself the due RESPECT, for YOU most deserve that same LOVING AFFECTION toward yourself...ALWAYS💞
Marilyn ox
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. ~Brené Brown
If you have any questions about
this blog post or would like to learn more about coaching with me, click below. Would love to chat!
The Gift of Grace and Presence
As we enter yet another New Year with so much uncertainty, the word GRACE and PRESENCE continues to emerge.
Amidst the many challenges we face today, many outside of our control, wonder continues to surround us.
As a coach, I have this beautiful opportunity to support extraordinary humans navigating broad and varied beliefs, challenges, and dreams. Each with their unique journey, experiences, and perspective while desiring similar outcomes. To live life to the fullest.
So much of what gets in the way is our judgments and perceptions of ourselves others. As humans, we typically notice what is wrong. It makes sense because we're hard-wired for protection. We know the present moment is all there is, so if we're focused on the problem or what is wrong, we miss all that is working and beautiful in the world.
Today, and throughout the New Year, I wish you GRACE.
GRACE loves.
GRACE accepts and understands.
GRACE acknowledges and releases judgment.
GRACE is present and pure.
“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.”
I wish you PRESENCE:
PRESENCE to create and be in each moment.
PRESENCE understands that worry and fear doesn't exist here.
PRESENCE describes who we've become and empowers us to decide who we want to be.
PRESENCE deepens relationships with ourselves and others.
“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”
So whatever your beliefs, whatever you love, whatever makes you laugh, whatever brings you joy & peace, may you create it, and may it be all yours today, and throughout this New Year, 2022.
Love & Blessings,
Marilyn 💕
*If you’d like to take a pause, reflect, refresh, and renew your intentions for the New Year, click HERE to download MY YEAR IN REVIEW.
