I am the Sun and Rain →

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Some days I am the sun.
Other days I am the rain.

Without either,
the garden, will not grow.
~CM Writer

This quote beautifully captures the ebbs and flows of life's experiences and seasons. Embracing and accepting this truth about life allows us to cultivate a deepened sense of understanding, compassion, and strength for ourselves and those around us.

Years ago, I was struck by this realization when reading this Tony Robbins quote, "The only 'problem' we really have is we think we're not supposed to have problems." 

The truth is that problems and challenges in life are inevitable. Our perspective can magnify or diminish their weight and impact.

I once hurriedly sought paths of immediate comfort as I perceived anything that felt uncomfortable, painful, or sad as "bad," avoiding reflection and opportunities for growth. The problem with this way of being was that it was a short-term solution to navigating what was really going on.

I came to embrace the understanding and truth that:

• Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessarily make it bad.

• Just because it feels good, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.

Feeling "bad" doesn't automatically categorize it as inherently negative; it might signify growth, inspire necessary change, or a temporary discomfort preceding a breakthrough. Similarly, just because something feels good doesn't guarantee its long-term benefit or alignment with our values and goals.

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This realization empowered me to navigate life’s complexities with greater discernment, recognizing that emotions are not always reliable indicators of truth or value. It's about cultivating a deeper awareness beyond the surface of our immediate reactions, allowing for a more balanced and insightful approach to decision-making and problem-solving.

• What would differnt if we perceived challenges as a calling to figure out who we are and what we want and need?

• How would this change the way you navigate your challenges or view the challenges of others?

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If you'd like to share your responses, thoughts, and perspectives to these questions, or are experiencing challenges that are draining your energy and connection to yourself, reach out anytime.

I’ve also created this Challenge Journal to support and guide you through the process of deepening and expanding your perspectives and insight when faced with challenges.

Together we can embrace the opportunity to approach challenges with curiosity, creativity, and an open mind.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat HERE.

Much love,

Download your Challenge Journal Here.

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C.A.L.M in the Presence of Storms →

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In this new year, more than ever, I am mindful of the many changes, growth, and new awareness of the year gone by.

2023 presented new and unexpected challenges along with profound opportunities for continued growth and deepened learning.

I want to share my journey with you, not just as a narrative but as an embodiment of the transformational principles encouraged and practiced, trusting it will resonate with many as we navigate the future ahead.

This past year tested my walk and practices that I believed I had a handle on, particularly as I navigated the complexities of chronic illnesses within my family. While heartbreaking and challenging, this experience became a powerful space for deepening and expanding my calming practice of emotional regulation, which inspired this simple, in-the-moment practice called C.A.L.M (Catch, Acknowledge, Listen, Move) that I wanted to pass on to you.

• C - Catch: Recognize the emotional shift and the level of intensity. Pause and acknowledge what you are feeling at this very moment. It's about becoming aware of the change, almost like catching a leaf falling from a tree.
  

• A - Acknowledge: Accept the emotion without judgment. Understand that it's okay to feel this way. Acknowledging is not about agreement but about recognition of what is present.
  

• L - Listen: Listen to what your emotions are telling you. They are indicators and share valuable information about our thoughts and what we care most about. What is the underlying need or message? This step involves tuning in to your inner voice, heart, and intuition.
  

• M - Move: Once you are present, choose with intention, an action or response. Moving can be literal physical movements, like deep breathing, a short walk, a glance at the ocean, or a realization or inner shift in perspective or focus.

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In moments of chaos and overwhelm,

pausing and observing was crucial – it provided a much-needed space to 'Acknowledge' my feelings without succumbing to judgment or taking on what wasn't mine. This simple yet profound realization of moving through darker days while infusing micro-moments of C.A.L.M was the first step in gracefully navigating the emotional whirlwinds to come while deepening my appreciation moments of peace, and appreciation for all that remains beautiful within and around me.

The act of 'Listening' to these emotions deepened my self-awareness and empathy, both for myself and for those around me. It allowed me to connect more authentically with my own needs and those of my Mom and son, fostering a space for compassionate, empathic, and intentional decision-making.

Finally, Moving forward – whether through physical activities like walking and deep breathing or mental shifts in perspective – became a testament to the power of proactive and purposeful action. It reminds us that we have the means to choose our path forward, even amid pain, sadness, and uncertainty.

As we journey ahead in life, let’s commit to embrace our meaningful experiences to strengthen with grace, our resilience with hope and excitement about what the future has in store for all of us.

I am excited and committed to collaborating, partnering, and supporting your continued growth and fulfillment ahead!

With love and gratitude,
Marilyn ox

A gift for you…

I created C.A.L.M as a simple practice and reminder designed to guide you through the process of managing your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

The CALM approach is a simple yet effective method to recognize, accept, listen to, and move through your emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

When life is hard, may you experience C.A.L.M. 💞

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or better yet, schedule a time to chat here.

Marilyn ox

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Three Layers of Gratitude

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As we celebrate today and the spirit of giving, it's a fitting time to reflect on what we are grateful for and the deeper layers of our gratitude.

Often, we express thanks for our family, friends, health, and accomplishments, yet rarely do we pause to consider the profound emotions and experiences underlying these sentiments.

Let's uncover the layers within our gratitude, exploring what moves and drives our thankfulness and how this deeper understanding can enrich our lives.

• The Surface of Gratitude - Gratitude often starts at the surface. We feel thankful for tangible blessings: a loving family, a successful career, or perhaps a personal achievement. For instance, you might feel grateful for the support you received during a difficult challenge you recently faced. This initial gratitude is genuine yet on the surface. Even during the most challenging times, recognizing the ability to breathe as you step outside in the sunshine may inspire gratitude for God and nature.

My Beautiful Mom and Sister, Donna

• The Connection of Gratitude - Connecting and bridging to a more meaningful level of gratitude requires pause and reflection to explore more awareness. When feeling proud of an achievement, you may ask, "What aspect of achieving this makes me proud?" It may be acknowledging your effort, support from a colleague, the personal growth experienced, or the impact on others. Exploring the meaning behind our emotions is a bridge, uncovering the fundamental values and beliefs underpinning our gratitude. Such introspective bridging leads to a richer, more intentional, and nuanced appreciation of our lives.

• The Heart of Gratitude - When we examine our feelings further, we often find that our gratitude is rooted in complex emotions and values. For example, pride in our achievements might stem from a deep-seated value of perseverance or a desire to contribute positively to the world. This realization can shift our perspective, enhancing our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

Gratitude Reflection

In my daily gratitude practice (throughout the day), I pause asking questions like:

"What am I most grateful for today?"
"What about that makes me grateful?"
"How does that make me feel?"

This gratitude is bridged from a deeper level, reflecting my appreciation for human connection, empathy, awe, and wonder regarding shared human experience.

Recognizing these underlying values enriches my sense of thankfulness, turning a simple "thank you" I may share into communicating a more expressive appreciation for my gratitude, like "The way you listened and gave me the space to talk through this difficult time brought me so much peace and meant the world to me."

Deeper Awareness

Understanding the deeper meanings behind our gratitude, thoughts, emotions, and feelings does more than enrich our lives; it strengthens empathy and connection with ourselves and others.

As we embrace our lives as a beautifully woven tapestry of experiences and emotions, our relationships and interactions become more meaningful. Deepening awareness within ourselves also inspires and enriches our appreciation for even the small things and our choices, influencing how we love, support, and give to others. It's a transformative process that enhances our personal growth and amplifies our capacity to contribute positively to the lives around us, fostering a cycle of generosity and compassion.

As we wrap up the "Three Layers of Gratitude,"

I hope it has inspired you to deepen your understanding of gratitude.

To further this journey, I'm offering a complimentary 30-page "Gratitude, Reflection Journal" designed to help you explore and deepen your connection to gratitude, thoughts, and emotions, fostering a practice of more intentional self-awareness.

May this holiday season and journal support your journey towards a more prosperous, aligned journey ahead!

Warmest wishes for a meaningful, and bright Holiday Season,
Marilyn 💚

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The Paradox of "Not Knowing"

Embracing Uncertainty

The shift from summer's embrace to the brisk touch of fall reminds me of life's ever-present paradoxes and endless opportunities. The leaves change color with assured certainty yet present unique, unpredictable patterns each day. Similarly, while we can anticipate the seasons, tomorrow's experiences and challenges remain uncertain. This duality of predictability and mystery brings us to the heart of our topic: finding comfort in places of "not knowing."

This intertwining of predictability and mystery leads us to a profound reflection: the empowering nature of embracing "not knowing."

In our solution-driven world, there's surprising strength in admitting, "I don't know." While it sounds counterintuitive, particularly in professions that prize expertise, consider this: our most profound moments of growth and connection lie in gaining comfort and embracing the unknown.

The philosophy of the "beginner's mind," eloquently shared by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, captures this essence. It speaks of a mindset unclouded by biases and prior judgments, where possibilities are as vast as the universe.

"In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few."

The International Coach Federation (ICF) also acknowledges the importance of this concept in Core Competency 5.5, emphasizing comfort in spaces of "not knowing," highlighting the power of embracing uncertainty in personal and professional spaces.

So, what potential unfolds when we anchor ourselves in the sanctuary of "not knowing"?

1. In places of NOT KNOWING, there are no limitations to what is possible. Fresh perspectives emerge, and novel solutions are discovered.

2. In places of NOT KNOWING, I approach situations with presence. This presence fosters genuine listening and deeper understanding.

3. In places of NOT KNOWING, my mind is open and receptive. I become more adaptable and willing to learn from every experience.

4. In places of NOT KNOWING, I release the burden of expertise. Without the weight of expectations, I can navigate situations with a lighter spirit.

5. In places of NOT KNOWING, I'm free from the confines of past patterns. This freedom allows for spontaneous and creative responses.

6. In places of NOT KNOWING, I foster a sense of wonder and curiosity. Every moment becomes an opportunity for exploration and discovery.

7. In places of NOT KNOWING, I am not attached to outcomes. This detachment can lead to greater equanimity and peace when facing challenges.

8. In places of NOT KNOWING, I welcome collaboration. Recognizing my gaps allows me to seek and value the knowledge and perspectives of others.

9. In places of NOT KNOWING, I am reminded of the vastness and mystery of existence, cultivating a sense of awe and reverence for life.

10. In places of NOT KNOWING, I embrace the journey of continuous growth. Rather than resting on past achievements, I aspire to continuously seek, learn, and evolve.

By remaining present and truly opening ourselves in the space of "not knowing," we unlock boundless opportunities and insights. Reflection:

• How does "not knowing" resonate with you?

• What pressures do you impose on yourself to have all the answers?

• What narratives play in your mind when faced with uncertainties?

• How might embracing "not knowing" transform your experience of life?

Remember, being in a place of "not knowing" doesn't reflect inadequacy. It's a call to trust in life's journey, welcoming the boundless insights and growth accompanying such trust.

In these ever-evolving times, our shared human experience sparkles the brightest. I invite you to explore the realms of "not knowing" together. I'm here to support you if you want to dive deeper into understanding and embracing this transformative space.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Connect with me today!

With Love and Possibilities, Always, 
Marilyn ox

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Year in Review

Here we are today, another year past, a new present moment, and a brand-new year ahead!

A year ago, I shared a blog article and holiday email called The Gift of Grace and Presence, highlighting the relevance of those two words. 

Words are powerful. 

Words can make us laugh or cry. They can heal, hurt, offer hope or crush us. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the words we choose can allow us to fulfill our deepest desires and also be the very thing that holds us back. The words we choose with ourselves and others matter. 

When we attach meaning to words and words to our experience, they become our Reality.

My Reality (then)

Distracted is defined "as having one's thoughts or attention drawn away: unable to concentrate or give attention to something." 

Growing up, "easily distracted" was commonplace on my report cards. As I grew older and the world, responsibilities, and opportunities became more abundant and complex, my inability to focus would lead to agitation and thoughts of inadequacy. Understandably, these thoughts would exacerbate my ability to focus on the task at hand, impacting my growth. Labeled as a character flaw, "I am easily distracted. " 

My Reality (now)

Today I understand and embrace my uniqueness. The clarity of what matters most to me (my values) and the awareness that the same gifts, strengths, and aspects I have come to love most about myself can also be the source of challenges—so profound a discovery.

I love to collaborate, learn, experience, and create new things, and amid all the newness, I inspire easily. I feel a lot, and ideas flow freely and regularly. In the past, it all felt like too much, whereas today, I embrace it all as so much. So much possibility and opportunity!

A few years back, my word was "focus," which led me to practice and create tools and strategies to optimize my strengths and gifts in anything I was doing and building one step at a time.

Last year I chose two words, grace and presence.

Grace is like the love of God covering me like a warm blanket that acknowledged all I felt while allowing me space to feel, explore, and understand with acceptance and love instead of judgment or shame. 

Presence inspired the truth of what was happening each moment, allowing me to understand, learn, and choose how best to move forward. And this year?

Well, I've narrowed my 2023 words down to 3 today: Simplicity, Nourishment, and Peace, and you know what? I am keeping all three.

Reflecting on this past year and visioning what's ahead with questions included in my newest fillable reflection journal will help you to know yourself more while empowering you with all that you are and need to live and experience life fully in 2023.

With Love, and Possibilities,
Marilyn ox

More Than a SMILE😊

Did you know that October 7th was World Smile Day? 

The iconic yellow smiley face was created in 1963 by graphic artist Harvey Ball, and in 1999, World Smile Day became a national holiday.

Did you know that children smile an average of 400 times per day? 

Happy people...40/50's times per day, and on average, we smile 20 times daily?

Studies have shown there is a difference between "genuine" smiles and "social" smiles, but they agree that even a "fake" smile elevates our mood and makes us feel happier. I prefer "real," yet I understand the point.

Did you also know that it takes way more muscles & effort to produce a frown than it does to smile?

Undoubtedly, there are many challenges and troubles in this world. For many, the Holidays can evoke deep sadness and pain.

We are hard-wired for safety and protection, so it makes perfect sense that our initial default would be to focus on what's wrong, whether real or perceived; thankfully, research continuously confirms neuropeptides and neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins are released when we are smiling, lightening anxiety and stress levels. 

Smiling more will not only change your energy and mood in navigating life's challenges but may also lighten the weight and burden of another, even for a moment.  

I am naturally curious and optimistic, and with reflective practices, I can see opportunity in just about anything. I once judged and avoided anything that didn't feel good. You can only imagine how much I avoided, including the most genuine expression of myself.

How we speak to ourselves and others matters; the questions we ask, consciously and unconsciously, make a difference and can impact the results we experience.

When we ask questions that focus on what's working and going well, it changes our responses moving forward. Questions like:

• What's most meaningful to me?

• What makes it meaningful to me right now?

• What is the best thing that's happened today? At work? Before work?

• Who inspires you?

• What about them inspires you?

• How does that make you feel?

• Who do you love?

• What about them do you love?

• How do they make you feel?

Problems and challenges are inevitable, and though we may not be able to control our circumstances or what someone else says, thinks, or does, we can most certainly control who we are, what we say, and how we choose to show up each moment.

What practices have you incorporated into your life, home, or office that inspire more smiling, gratitude, and happiness?

⭐️A Gift for YOU🎁

Rewire your brain with this simple practice that will inspire you to notice all that is working
and beautiful in your life and world.
Download my PDF called MY TOP THREE.

Letter For The GIVERS

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To The Givers,

That CARE and CONCERN you so freely extend to others;

The warm SILENCE and SAFETY you so naturally create for those seeking refuge;

And the way you COMMUNICATE with genuine KINDNESS and GRACE,

Along with your ability to ACCEPT without JUDGMENT, it is most beautiful and inspiring. 

Do you treat yourself similarly? 

If not, what stands in the way of extending that same GRACE, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, and CARE you so FREELY GIVE to OTHERS to YOURSELF?

The way you speak to yourself matters.

You LOVE, HEAL, GIVE, FEEL, CARE, and HELP without expecting anything in return.

Today and Always give yourself the due RESPECT, for YOU most deserve that same LOVING AFFECTION toward yourself...ALWAYS💞

Marilyn ox

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. ~Brené Brown

If you have any questions about

this blog post or would like to learn more about coaching with me, click below. Would love to chat!

Book Now

The Gift of Grace and Presence

As we enter yet another New Year with so much uncertainty, the word GRACE and PRESENCE continues to emerge. 

Amidst the many challenges we face today, many outside of our control, wonder continues to surround us.

As a coach, I have this beautiful opportunity to support extraordinary humans navigating broad and varied beliefs, challenges, and dreams. Each with their unique journey, experiences, and perspective while desiring similar outcomes. To live life to the fullest.

So much of what gets in the way is our judgments and perceptions of ourselves others. As humans, we typically notice what is wrong. It makes sense because we're hard-wired for protection. We know the present moment is all there is, so if we're focused on the problem or what is wrong, we miss all that is working and beautiful in the world.

Today, and throughout the New Year, I wish you GRACE.

GRACE loves.
GRACE accepts and understands. 
GRACE acknowledges and releases judgment.
GRACE is present and pure.

“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.”

— Brené Brown

I wish you PRESENCE:

PRESENCE to create and be in each moment.
PRESENCE understands that worry and fear doesn't exist here.
PRESENCE describes who we've become and empowers us to decide who we want to be.
PRESENCE deepens relationships with ourselves and others.

“Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.”

— Marshall B. Rosenberg

So whatever your beliefs, whatever you love, whatever makes you laugh, whatever brings you joy & peace, may you create it, and may it be all yours today, and throughout this New Year, 2022.

Love & Blessings,
Marilyn 💕

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*If you’d like to take a pause, reflect, refresh, and renew your intentions for the New Year, click HERE to download MY YEAR IN REVIEW.

Contact Marilyn

Power of Positive Affirmations

How to Use Affirmations to Overcome Fear

If you begin to use affirmations in your life, you'll unleash a power that can eliminate the control fear has over you. You can use affirmations to get you through the tough times and gain self-confidence.

Why You Have Fears

Throughout life, many situations will cause fear, but fear isn't always bad! It can actually play an important role in your life. 

Fear can instantly get your heart pumping faster and give you the adrenalin rush needed to get you away from a threatening situation. If someone were to chase you down the street, your fear could push you to run faster or think on your feet. In fact, fear may be necessary to drive you to safety.

Unfortunately, most of the time, fear also comes at times when you're in no danger at all. That's when fear becomes disempowering or destructive. These types of fears can hinder your daily lifestyle and make you act in ways that you wish you didn't.

These are the fears to overcome. Irrational fears, like the fear of being in an elevator or a fear of speaking in public, could cause you to avoid situations that could provide tremendous value in your life. Instead of avoiding fearful situations, learn to conquer your fears and live your life to the fullest.

How Affirmations Can Help

Affirmations can help you overcome your fears by keeping your focus on being positive and in the present moment. Affirmations are short, positive statements that are written in the present tense. They describe how you want to feel as if you already experience those empowering emotions.

You can find affirmations that pertain to your specific fear, or you can write your own. For example, if you fear elevators, you can recite to yourself: "I feel calm and relaxed right now." Repeat this phrase along with other affirmations next time you ride in an elevator. Find the courage within yourself to face the fearful situation.

The Importance of Believing in Yourself

Affirmations only provide power for you if you bring to them a determination to get over your fears. Repeated on a daily basis, affirmations reprogram your mind to believe and act differently in the stressful situations you're seeking to overcome. But you must be consistent and keep an open mind for them to work for you.

People get over their fears every day. You can find the courage and strength within yourself to finally declare that you're free from fear! Even if affirmations seem kind of silly at first, stick with it. They might not make you feel courageous immediately but give it some time. Keep repeating them and you will see positive results.

Affirmations for Any Fear

You can find affirmations for almost any fear or negative emotion. But it may be more effective to write your own. Simply imagine yourself in the situation, responding perfectly and feeling peaceful inside. Write a positive, present tense statement, in the first person, describing what you see in your mind's eye.

Create a few affirmations and repeat them to yourself over and over again. Repeat this exercise every day, and soon you'll begin to notice yourself feeling differently about the situation.

Once you've worked through one fear with affirmations, you'll possess a tool that can conquer any fear that you have.

Examples of Affirmations:

• I am giving attention to the things that matter

• I enjoy being present

• I choose to live the life of my dreams

• I create each moment of every day

• I am living in alignment to my higher purpose

• I give and receive love effortlessly

• I am present right now. All that exists is now

• My limitless potential is in this present moment

• I do the best I can with what I have. I am grateful

• I allow myself to experience all of my feelings

 

Now create your own and begin harnessing the power of affirmations today! Start small and allow the positive results to motivate you to use them more and more in the future.

Make it a beautiful day!
Marilyn