Yes, it’s true...we may be bruised, emotionally and physically drained, overwhelmed and confused and facing significant transitions in life.Read More
My son Jonathan joined Bravo Company a few weeks ago after a three-week detour in a holding platoon which in turn, pushed back his graduation date.Read More
Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.
Uncertainty bring stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.
We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.
The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
The second type of response is to accept it the situation, and to get some perspective on it. Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.
It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity.
How are you going to choose today?
What were your first thoughts when you woke up this morning? How excited were you to get moving? How did what you were thinking and feeling influence your level of energy?
If you believe the saying, “you are what you think”, then you probably buy into the notion that our lives really do stem from our thoughts. But it’s important to embrace the idea that our thoughts do not have to translate into actions.
Our thoughts may feel completely accurate based on the story we tell ourselves. For example, if you believe that you’re not worthy of being happy, your internal dialog may sound like this - “Why would I go on this vacation and ruin everyone else’s good time?” What if you believe that everything you experience is an opportunity for growth? Your thoughts might be - “What can I learn from this?”
We focus so much on our external dialog -- how we speak to others for example and the implications our words may have in a given situation, but we often fail to pay attention or realize the power of our own internal dialog. What if I were to say that how you speak to yourself directly correlates to your level of success and happiness?
Studies continue to show that affirmations or positive self-talk do in fact increase the level of those feel-good hormones and brain chemistry rewiring resulting in more energy, less fatigue, reduced anxiety, and more happiness. Studies have also shown that mere thoughts alone can improve our strength, vision and energy. Understanding and becoming aware of the “thought, emotion/feeling, action sequence, you can begin to be empowered and make choices that are aligned with who you REALLY are as opposed to what others expect you to be and even what you’ve been believing about yourself.
Affirmations raise our strength and help us to believe and manifest our true potential. They help us to immediately shift our thoughts and belief into a more powerful state of being. How much time are you willing to invest in significantly improving your day and life? In only a few minutes you can change your life!
Here are 10 powerful affirmations to empower your day and life.
1. Today I freely share uniqueness and gifts with the world
2. I focus on solution and possibilities; Therefore, I do not judge good and bad, I learn from experiences
3. I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them
4. I am here to live life and live abundantly; Therefore, I make powerful choices
5. I find purpose in challenges and victory in facing fears
6. I have clarity of mind and embrace my intuition
7. My spirit and soul are peaceful
8. I radiate pure love, support, and connection
9. I am 100% potential in every moment
10. I create my life and am empowered to make choices that align with who I really am.
Create your own affirmations that are related to your own needs, values, desires, and dreams. Trust the process and step into your affirmations with conviction daily in your own voice and you’ll begin to create the life you wish to live instead of life creating you.
How many times a day do you say and/or hear words like, “I should...”, “you should...”, “I have to...”, “you have to...”?Read More
Getting What We Really Want
In the last issue of the E-Factor newsletter, we discussed Self-Mastery and how by resonating at a high frequency of energy, we attract what we want into our lives with little or no effort.
What holds us back from living the lives we desire? Some people attribute the lack of having what they want to fate – that their lives are somehow “meant to be” the way they are.
Many people don’t like the concept of fate, however, because it negates free will. But what if neither the traditional concept of fate, nor free will, really existed for most people? An unusual concept called self-fate helps explain why so many of us don’t have what we really want.
Self-fate is the idea that because our past is dominating our thought processes, and because most people are not consciously living in the moment, our past actually creates our future.
Because we are making choices based on our past experiences, we cannot change our future unless the control of the past is removed, and we choose in the now. So self-fate really means that for most of us, fate does exist, and we do not have free will. It is us who creates our fate because we are imprisoned by the past. We have pre-determined choices that we are programmed to make, and our past does the programming.
Think about a woman who is unhappy with her relationships and says that she seems to meet the same kind of men over and over again.
She complains that men are all the same, looking for the same thing. She believes that she’s never going to find a relationship that is mutually respectful and serving, as opposed to the relationships she’s had, where she’s been emotionally abused. It’s no wonder she feels this way, as she’s had many experiences that have created those beliefs. In fact, it’s quite normal that she believes what she does, which poses a real challenge - since she sees men as disrespectful, abusive, and manipulating, she is putting out “victim” energy. She is being a victim to the beliefs she has. And what is the result of that? The vibration she emits is picked up by those whose energy matches those beliefs: men who will take advantage of her. To them, she’s an easy target. And so, she actually creates her future relationships, and will continue to do so unless she changes her sense of self, or, who she is BEING, in relationships.
The traditional concept of fate proposes that our lives are pre-determined by an outside source. Self-fate, however, is something that we can control. In the next issue, we’ll begin to discuss how we can reprogram our futures so that we achieve our unlimited potential.
Self Mastery - E-Factor NewsletterRead More
UNLOCKING THE WORLD OF POSSIBILITIES!
Have you ever locked yourself out of a house because you didn’t have the key? In the same way, have you ever locked yourself out of an opportunity because you didn’t have confidence?
Thomas Edison said, “If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”
Do you ever harbor regret for missing opportunities? What were the obstacles or beliefs that held you back? How did you feel?
Now imagine a time in your life when you experienced an exuberant amount of confidence regarding an event or situation. What gave you that confidence? i.e. “I am a quick learner," or, "I've done this before!" How did you feel? How did confidence impact your performance?
You may not have clinched the deal, but you nailed the process! Having confidence does not always guarantee your desired outcome. Having confidence generates an attitude of success enabling you to experience opportunities you may have otherwise avoided.
“Confidence comes from success…But confidence also combines another quality because you can be successful, yet lack confidence. It requires a mental attitude shift to an expectation of success. And this alone, can bring about more success, reinforcing the confidence. It spirals from there.” ~Jason Hihn
The great news? Having a lack of confidence, also derived from “feelings and/or “beliefs” can be shifted into confidence. How does your level of confidence motivate or limit your experiences in life?
How confident do you appear to others? Do your children believe you when you say “no”? Or do they take solace knowing through experience, that your “no” doesn’t always mean “no”. Our behaviors, body language, tone of voice, clarity in content may be how others see us externally, though the underlying message comes from within us. Both are worth examining.
Simple, because you can apply these right now in this very moment:
- Stand up tall with your head held high, relax your shoulders, and smile:)
- Increase the tone of the pitch in you’re voice.
- Don’t rush…take your time when you speak.
- Keep a “confidence” journal - record your successes, challenges, and obstacles.
- Identify and draw from the areas where you are confident.
- Practice…confidence is built; it doesn't magically appear…you’ll get there!
REFRAMING INNER THOUGHTS
- Shift negative thoughts or beliefs - ie. “I don’t remember anything” to “I remember things when I create a list or outline”.
- Be mindful of your thoughts before you respond - are you in alignment with who you are and what you want?
- Examine yourself and list your strengths and weaknesses
- Turn your weaknesses or limits into strengths and possibilities. For example, impatience can be shifted to pro-activity. Keep practicing this step and your will experience your fear and lack of confidence diminish!
- Create a plan of success - what is it you want to accomplish? “What are the obstacles or fears that I face?” “What is one step I can take right now to begin to over-come that obstacle or fear?”
- Make a commitment - revisit your journal and your goals. Put confidence into practice and watch your confidence soar! It’s like anything in life, the more you practice, the better you become.
Most importantly, accept and love yourself right where you are at this moment. Be courageous and bold as you commit to unlocking the door to the world of possibilities!